So without further ado, here are the Top 10 Things I've Learned About Trinidad and Tobago:
- Visiting friends or family entails engaging in extensive mango trafficking. While you and all the people you visit probably have mango trees growing in the yard, you will still bring mangoes of several varieties with you, and return home with several other (strangely similar) mangoes. If mangoes are unavailable or undesirable, other fruit or sweets can be acceptably substituted.
- If approached by Anaconda in Castara (Tobago), don't believe a word the man says, but do take his restaurant recommendations. Anaconda, by the way, is his "science-tific" name. Just in case you were wondering.
- If approached by Tallman in Store Bay (also Tobago), don't bother booking a tour on his glass-bottom boat. Go straight to the Cool Runnings boat - it's where Tallman's customers end up anyway when he cancels his tours. Cool Runnings has the added advantage of blasting loud music on board, which can lead to some interesting behavior among your co-travelers.
- Traffic in Trinidad is so bad that if you want to go out to dinner, it's probably faster to fly to Tobago than to navigate Port of Spain. In fact, if you have any qualms about driving on the left, driving over the center line, passing cars within inches, dodging randomly parked vehicles, or being alert to cars that decide to dart the wrong way down a one way street, you should probably just head straight to Tobago anyway.
- Beware of sun and mosquitoes if you don't want lots of brightly colored reminders of your trip all over your body. SPF 30 is not enough - my sunburned shoulders are proof. And when choosing a bug spray, the higher the concentration of DEET, the better. Don't be scared off by the fact that it can melt plastic.
- Any drama you may witness in Indian families or relationships is a direct influence of the singing, dancing, and weeping that fills Bollywood films. The drama of Bollywood films stems in turn from even more abundant singing, dancing, and weeping in Hindu sacred texts. Growing up on stories like that, who wouldn't feel their lives were dull without a little drama?
- You may think you speak English, but you'll still undoubtedly need a language lesson before you arrive if you hope to (a) correctly use terms like "lime" and "vex;" (b) use pronouns as they should be used; (c) identify any of the fruits and vegetables you thought you knew (paw paw?).
- The food is amazing - but if you wish to fit into your clothes at the end of your trip, the best strategy is to always claim you have already eaten when entering someone's home, even if you're starving. That way, you have some hope of being served only a reasonable portion of food (instead of a whole lotta food plus all kinds of extras that you just have to try - many of which are the results of the mango cartel noted above). I wish we had discovered this strategy earlier in the week.
- All the crafts you see being sold on the beaches were made by the guy selling it and his father. Or maybe his cousin. And no, I don't think that's just their story to snag the tourists. The bamboo windchimes I came home with were definitely made by the guy and his dad... never mind that they look exactly like the ones being sold all over Tobago...
- All in all, the people are welcoming, the beaches are lovely, and the food alone makes the trip worth it. My shoulders may be peeling, but I've gotten a major fix of deserted beaches, mangoes, and wonderful hospitality. I think it's a good trade-off!
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